Lenten Humiliation
Often we hear that during Lent we must surrender ourselves to God thus becoming humble. The operative word during Lent is humility, that helps us in enhancing our relationship with God via improvement of our relationships with other people, especially those we have hurt or who have hurt us.
This year humility seemed an understatement for me. The appropriate word seemed more like humiliation. My story starts from 7 years ago, when I was appointed to a newly created pharmaceutical company as the Chief Sales & Marketing Officer. It was a very small organization with about 20 people, of whom 2 were non sales and marketing personnel. We did not even have a CEO and both my peer (the Chief Medical Officer) and I reported to the Regional Vice President.
Over time, we expanded the organization to a strength of 34 people and I was entrusted with making decisions concerning operations and human resources. In a way I considered myself as the de facto CEO and so did the people from HQ by including me in communications sent to CEOs. I was also hoping secretly that when the day to select a real CEO arrived, I would be the natural choice. Being the de facto CEO, my verdict was the last say on almost any topic. I was also the point of contact (for our French HQ) on issues related to the organization within the country.
To my dismay, this January, a CEO was appointed and I now report to him and no more the Regional Vice President. Within a span of two months I feel redundant as all decisions I used to make are handled by my boss. Furthermore, I am no longer the local contact with HQ, but my boss. Suddenly I feel useless and a certain amount of self-pity eats into me at times.
I suppose it's a blessing that this is occurring during Lent, and I have to learn to accept reality. It's the perfect period to be taught humility (or humiliation). At times I wonder if the people who report to me comprehend that I'm no longer the "main man" and if they are snickering on the sidelines. It helps during these moments to turn my thoughts to Jesus as he too underwent humiliation during His passion. I consider my current experiences as my own passion and I offer it up to God as penance for my sins. I'm confident in time I shall get my dues either within the same organization or elsewhere. There must a lesson God intends to teach me from this episode. These are the trials and tribulations that God allows us to go through in order to burnish us. So I shouldn't complain while God makes me lustrous.