How to Poison Your Mother-in-Law?
This is a story about being an effective marriage counselor. Marriage counselling can be done by anyone with good intentions to save a marriage. This is also a story about acceptance, forgiveness and the Golden Rule of Christianity - Do Unto Others As You Wish Them To Do Unto You. I know many people may be shocked that such tips are posted on a Catholic website. Read on.
A long time ago in China , a girl named Li-Li got married and went to live with her husband and mother-in-law.
In a very short time, Li-Li found that she couldn't get along at all with her mother-in-law.
Their personalities were very different, and Li-Li was angered by many of her mother-in-law's habits.
In addition, the mother-in-law criticized Li-Li constantly.
Days passed, and weeks passed. Li-Li and her mother-in-law never stopped arguing and fighting.
But what made the situation even worse was that, according to ancient Chinese tradition, Li-Li had to bow to her mother-in-law and obey her every wish. All the anger and unhappiness in the house was causing Li-Li's poor husband great distress.
Finally, Li-Li could not stand her mother-in-law' s bad temper and dictatorship any longer, and she decided to do something about it.
Li-Li went to see her father's good friend, Mr Huang, who sold herbs. She told him the situation and asked if he would give her some poison so that she could solve the problem once and for all.
Mr Huang thought for awhile, and finally said, 'Li-Li, I will help you solve your problem, but you must listen to me and obey what I tell you.
Li-Li said, 'Yes, Mr Huang, I will do whatever you tell me to do'.
Mr. Huang went into the back room, and returned in a few minutes with a package of herbs.
He told Li-Li, 'You can't use a quick-acting poison to get rid of your mother-in-law, because that would cause people to become suspicious.
Therefore, I have given you a number of herbs that will slowly build up poison in her body. Every other day prepare some delicious meal and put a little of these herbs in her serving. Now, in order to make sure that nobody suspects you when she dies, you must be very careful to act very friendly towards her. Don't argue with her, obey her every wish, and treat her like a queen'.
Li-Li was so happy. She thanked Mr Huang and hurried home to start her plot of murdering her mother-in-law.
Weeks went by, and months went by, and every other day, Li-Li served the specially treated food to her mother-in-law.
She remembered what Mr Huang had said about avoiding suspicion, so she controlled her temper, obeyed her mother-in-law, and treated her like her own mother.
After six months had passed, the whole household had changed. Li-Li had practised controlling her temper so much that she found that she almost never got mad or upset. She hadn't had an argument with her mother-in-law in six months because she now seemed much kinder and easier to get along with.
The mother-in-law' s attitude toward Li-Li changed, and she began to love Li-Li like her own daughter. She kept telling friends and relatives that Li-Li was the best daughter-in- law one could ever find.
Li-Li and her mother-in-law were now treating each other like a real mother and daughter.
Li-Li's husband was very happy to see what was happening.
One day, Li-Li came to see Mr Huang and asked for his help again. She said, 'Dear Mr Huang, please help me to keep the poison from killing my mother-in-law! She's changed into such a nice woman, and I love her like my own mother. I do not want her to die because of the poison I gave her'.
Mr Huang smiled and nodded his head. 'Li-Li, there's nothing to worry about. I never gave you any poison.
The herbs I gave you were vitamins to improve her health. The only poison was in your mind and your attitude toward her, but that has been all washed away by the love which you gave to her'.
THE MORAL OF THE STORY?
How you treat other people is exactly how they will treat you? There is a wise Chinese saying:
'The person who loves others will also be loved in return. God might be trying to work in another person's life through you.
Send this to your friends and spread the POWER OF LOVE. It may change their lives and their attitudes towards other people. You would be helping them understand that as a community we Christians should play the role of marriage counselor to any married couple in trouble and in need of marriage counseling. We should train ourselves to give marriage advise.
I tried, and my mother in law just being hypercritical all the time. Because I don’t want to be a cathlic like her! I didn’t see love and acceptence from her. Didn’t God teach us to be kind, nice an tollrent to others??????? Cathlic mother in law is difficut.
Hi cece,
Thank you for this comment. As a Catholic I feel sad that you are being treated as such by another Catholic.
You are right that God teaches us to be kind and accepting of others. Also as Catholic Christians we are told to spread the Good News to others so that they will also be able to experience life God wants us to have at the fullest.
From your response your mother-in-law’s methods can be considered a scandal. Acceptance of another religion has to be totally free.
Actually not all mother-in-law’s are bad…my mother has a Hindu daughter-in-law and my mum is very good to her and none of us pressure her to convert. We hope that by us living our life as good Catholics will be an effective witness that will convince her to embrace Catholicism. Regardless of her decision, she’ll always be our sister (in-law).
Gone are the days, when women abuse women !! Mother in laws don’t have the rights over the daughter in law and visa versa. Respect should be given and received both ways. That’s the only way it should work. Otherwise, if a woman is supposed to bear the emotional abuse silently , it only means, that woman does not respect herself first of all and has low self esteem to allow others to treat her that way. Or she is far to desperate to loose her husband and has phychological problems.
I feel that every woman needs her space, and it should be respected. Even a daughter and a mother, no matter how close they are , they may not agree on everything, what more when it comes to a daughter in law and mother in law? And if a woman does not get to express herself and be heard, its bad for her health, mind and soul.
However, I tried to see the attitude of a person and react accordingly to it. There is really no need to see it as if it has anything to do with the relationship, what matters is that you are a person, and every person should be respected.
As a Catholic, just do the right thing, at the same time, if a person is not behaving the way they should, or said something to hurt me and should not have said that, than I would just have to let them know why I”m upset with them each time. Sooner or later, they person will have to realize that they keep repeating this, and it gets them no where. I even do the same thing to my mother, if she hurts me , hell i don’t keep quiet, i tell her what she said and it was hurtful.
Now to a mother in law its a bit tricky, they don’t really feel bad that they have hurt you, sometimes they intentionally want to you to know that you are not good enough. So in this scenario, you still have to emphasise the logic of why you would not accept her comments. Speaking the mind and heart, and point it out what was said wrongly, but do it in a nice way, then she would have no way to go but to be embarassed if she had said something wrong to you in the eyes of God. No one has the right to degrade you, unless you don’t have self respect and dignity, only than you would keep queit and take the shit.
Women just have start speaking up more often when the other woman hits on you unjustly. You need to tell her you are not happy with it and that she cannot say such a thing , it is not alright with you and why its not alright. Most of the time, this is the hardest thing to do. Why because, at this point, your emotions are way high in anger and you do not want to react too aggresively that you hurt your husband’s mother and husband. You are afraid that you would loose your temper.
I have asked my mother in law why is it that she does not have anything nice to say about me, why arent’ you accepting me the way I am? I don’t like doing things this way, this is the way I like doing it and I’m going to stick to it even if you don’t like it. Or just show her that you stick to doing it the way you like it. Sooner or later she would understand that no amount of her opinion is going to change the way you want things to be.
However, in order to maintain sanity and to feel good about yourself, you need to show that you are a nice person too. Show her how good you are , how well your mother has brought you up by beeing nice to her all the time, except when she is nasty to you, pull yourself together and speak up facts and why its not appropriate of her to comment such a thing. Ask her if she would say the same to her daughter or she would like it if others said that to her daughter? Tell her how hurt you are about it.
If you do that a couple of times, she would eventually stop picking on your as she knows you are a lawyer with facts and maybe realise she is indeed picking on you most of the time.
All Im saying is that woman have to be true to themselves, you can’t live a lie, with piled up of hurt and resentment in your heart which will burst out anyway like a volcanoe some day. Its best to let it out little by little in a more milder way, and set yourself free. Speak what is in your heart to your mother in law. Tell her you did not like what she mentioned about you the other day, even when you are right now not arguing about things.
Its important for a woman to get it out of her chest, no woman should go through emotional abuse neither by her husband nor her mother in law. It is respect to a human being, you do it because you are a person , and others have no right to treat you that way. It does not matter if its your father in law or aunty or cousing etc, its the same, they should respect a person.