I feel that every woman needs her space, and it should be respected. Even a daughter and a mother, no matter how close they are , they may not agree on everything, what more when it comes to a daughter in law and mother in law? And if a woman does not get to express herself and be heard, its bad for her health, mind and soul.

However, I tried to see the attitude of a person and react accordingly to it. There is really no need to see it as if it has anything to do with the relationship, what matters is that you are a person, and every person should be respected.

As a Catholic, just do the right thing, at the same time, if a person is not behaving the way they should, or said something to hurt me and should not have said that, than I would just have to let them know why I”m upset with them each time. Sooner or later, they person will have to realize that they keep repeating this, and it gets them no where. I even do the same thing to my mother, if she hurts me , hell i don’t keep quiet, i tell her what she said and it was hurtful.

Now to a mother in law its a bit tricky, they don’t really feel bad that they have hurt you, sometimes they intentionally want to you to know that you are not good enough. So in this scenario, you still have to emphasise the logic of why you would not accept her comments. Speaking the mind and heart, and point it out what was said wrongly, but do it in a nice way, then she would have no way to go but to be embarassed if she had said something wrong to you in the eyes of God. No one has the right to degrade you, unless you don’t have self respect and dignity, only than you would keep queit and take the shit.

Women just have start speaking up more often when the other woman hits on you unjustly. You need to tell her you are not happy with it and that she cannot say such a thing , it is not alright with you and why its not alright. Most of the time, this is the hardest thing to do. Why because, at this point, your emotions are way high in anger and you do not want to react too aggresively that you hurt your husband’s mother and husband. You are afraid that you would loose your temper.

I have asked my mother in law why is it that she does not have anything nice to say about me, why arent’ you accepting me the way I am? I don’t like doing things this way, this is the way I like doing it and I’m going to stick to it even if you don’t like it. Or just show her that you stick to doing it the way you like it. Sooner or later she would understand that no amount of her opinion is going to change the way you want things to be.

However, in order to maintain sanity and to feel good about yourself, you need to show that you are a nice person too. Show her how good you are , how well your mother has brought you up by beeing nice to her all the time, except when she is nasty to you, pull yourself together and speak up facts and why its not appropriate of her to comment such a thing. Ask her if she would say the same to her daughter or she would like it if others said that to her daughter? Tell her how hurt you are about it.

If you do that a couple of times, she would eventually stop picking on your as she knows you are a lawyer with facts and maybe realise she is indeed picking on you most of the time.

All Im saying is that woman have to be true to themselves, you can’t live a lie, with piled up of hurt and resentment in your heart which will burst out anyway like a volcanoe some day. Its best to let it out little by little in a more milder way, and set yourself free. Speak what is in your heart to your mother in law. Tell her you did not like what she mentioned about you the other day, even when you are right now not arguing about things.

Its important for a woman to get it out of her chest, no woman should go through emotional abuse neither by her husband nor her mother in law. It is respect to a human being, you do it because you are a person , and others have no right to treat you that way. It does not matter if its your father in law or aunty or cousing etc, its the same, they should respect a person.